Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Baby Girl

During my last post I detailed the experience I had the day Gabriel was born. This birth was almost exactly the same with the exception of one thing. When I looked over the blue sheet I saw my baby girl.

I was very excited and happy to be a father for the first time. I had so many feelings and emotions going thru my mind. Many had to do with the joys of taking my buddy camping, hunting, fishing, hiking, playing soccer, participating in the Boy Scouts together, and basically doing all the fun manly things we men like to do together. It was strange when I would think about the prospects of having a girl. I had no idea how I would react. I didn’t have any particular insight on what we would be having but I secretly had a desire to have a baby girl so I could learn of those emotions. However, I was not prepared for what was about to happen.

When Gabriel was born it took my breath away, when Angelina was born my heart skipped a beat. I had a lot of emotions with Gabriel but I had a completely different set of emotions with Angelina. My thoughts did not lead to games, or camping or cuts and bruises but instead my thoughts led to more delicate things. I want to see how cute she looks when Carrie dresses her up. I want to see how she looks at me when I come home from work. I can’t wait to see her grow up. I want to see her on her wedding day. I fear for the lives of the young men who come to take her out on dates. I can’t wait to see the look on those same young men when I show them my Springfield Armory XD .45. However, the thought or the emotion that stands out to me the most is the overwhelming desire to be a better man so that she will know what to look for when the time comes to seek a husband.

I love my eternal sweetheart so much. I am so completely in love with her. With each addition to our family I fall even more in love with her. I have the most amazing family on this planet. I love my son. Even now I see all my strengths in him without my weaknesses. I pray that I can be the father he needs. I love my daughter. In her I see the reasons why honor and integrity are values with immeasurable value. In her I already see the qualities that drew me to my wife. She is just as beautiful and just as sweet. I am the luckiest man I know, and I want to express my love and joy publicly.

Carrie I love you. Thank you for your love. Thank you for my son. Thank you for my daughter. Finally, thank you for my dog.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

First Time Around

So the day is fast approaching when I am going to meet my new kid. It’s strange, but I am pretty at peace with this one. When Gabriel was coming, A LOT was going through my mind. First and foremost had been the thoughts of Carrie having complications during the delivery. After all the initial panic attack feelings had passed, we quickly began planning for the arrival of our first kid. I remember the day that we went into the hospital. It was a surreal experience because I always pictured the Hollywood scene where the father was rushing the mother who was obviously in a great deal of pain into the emergency room. That was so not our story. We casually walked into a book store to select some reading materials during our time in the hospital and even picked out a name book since we had not settled on a name for the soon to be arriving child. We still had no idea what gender it was going to be. Not because we grew up in some ancient civilization. It was simply because Carrie and I had no desire to find out the gender. I seriously married the coolest chick on earth. She and I looked at each other during the way to the ultrasound and she asked me “do you want to know?”

“I don’t care” was my reply.

“Neither do I” was hers.

We never looked back since.

So once we checked out of the store we casually drove to the hospital and checked in to have our baby. No speeding, no honking, no panic, it was like we were on our way to a movie.
I remember sitting in the hall when Carrie was taken into the surgery room to get prepped for the c-section. I was in my wicked awesome hospital gown, sitting all alone in the hall way, with my camera in my hand. I heard all kinds of noise coming from the room that they wheeled Carrie into. A lot of crazy thoughts ran through my head, but one by one doctors and medical staff began to enter the room and congratulating me on what was sure to take place. Their confidence boosted mine and I was ready to face the screaming, peeing, and pooping baby that was soon to be mine.

The moment that I heard doctor Bair’s voice saying “David, when I count to 3 I want you to stand and look over the screen and announce to your wife the gender” my heart dropped into the bottom of my shoe. Before I knew it he said 3 and up I went trying to look over what seemed like the highest wall of blue sheeting that I have ever been faced with. Once I had reached the summit I saw the nastiest, most slimy, and yet most amazing little body. It took me all but two seconds to orientate myself and I quickly began to search for the legs. I then uttered the hardest thing it was for me to say. “It’s… It’s a boy!!!”

Not a lot of things take my breath away, that one nearly dropped me to my knees. I was a daddy.